Royal girlfriend converts from Catholicism to marry a royal

Yesterday I wrote about the debate at the RSA held to mark the launch of a new group, British Muslims for Secular Democracy. During this debate the journalist Yasmin Alibhai Brown made the point that Britain is not yet a proper, religiously neutral secular state.

And what better way to illustrate the absurd, established state we live in than by turning to our distinguished royal family? You see, according to the Sun (yes I'm linking to the Sun) the girlfriend of someone from the royal family has made, in their words, a "dramatic" 11th hour conversion from Catholicism to the Church of England in order to ensure that her beau doesn't lose his vital position as 11th in line to the throne.

As any self-respecting secularist should know, the 1701 Act of Settlement declared that any royals who married Catholics would have their names stricken from the line of succession, and that piece of legislation still stands to this day.

However, anyone concerned that the girlfriend may have received an unfriendly nudge in the right direction from senior royals shouldn't worry too much – Buckingham Palace insists it was all her own decision and that "She was welcomed into the Church of England some time ago."

[Names withheld from this article due to irrelevance]

Questionable ways to defuse a sectarian atmosphere...

Given that Celtic vs Rangers is a football derby with a long history of sectarian rivalry, you'd think the players at the two Glasgow giants might see it as wise to rise above it all and stay out of matters relating to the respective merits of Protestantism and Catholicism.

But if you're Celtic's Polish goalkeeper Artur Boruc, it seems the appropriate way to celebrate keeping the championship race alive with a 3-2 victory over Rangers is to remove your jersey to reveal a t-shirt bearing a photo of the late Pope John Paul II alongside the slogan "God Bless the Pope".

Boruc's a pious chap - nicknamed "Holy Goalie" by Celtic fans - and this isn't the first time he's fanned the flames of sectarianism at the Old Firm derby. In 2006 he received a police caution for breach of the peace for allegedly making "obscene gestures and blessings" to the Rangers fans, and at the next derby he was abused by Rangers supporters after crossing himself before the match.

It doesn't seem Boruc's latest antics have landed him in too much trouble with manager Gordon Strachan who told reporters "He's not a bad lad, to be fair (the Pope). If it was 'God bless Myra Hindley', I might have a problem."