"Ed Miliband becomes first British political leader of a major party to be living with his family out of wedlock", declared the paper, before rather unsubtly suggesting that this frightfully scandalous fact means the new leader of the opposition would launch an assault on the cherished institution of marriage were he ever to become Prime Minister:
Of course, after appearing to raise questions about a child's parentage, the "As the son of a North London Marxist intellectual, you might expect Ed Miliband to have a less than conventional approach to traditional family values.Mail goes on to clarify that it is doing no such thing by adding that "there is no suggestion that Ed Miliband is not Daniel’s father" (although they seem to have been concerned enough to ring the Labour Party for clarification).
And the birth certificate of his 15-month-old son, Daniel, would appear to bear this out, as it includes everything except any mention of the boy’s proud father."
No, the Mail is definitely not trying to smear the new Labour leader by asking inappropriate and unnecessary questions about his relationship to his own son. Which is probably why today's edition asks "So will Ed Miliband now marry the mother of his son? (And why isn't he on the birth certificate)".
No need to worry though – given that the 19th century happened years ago, not even Daily Mail readers are going to be fainting at the sheer scandal of it all, or erupting with outrage at this latest piece of evidence that Britain is indeed going t'dogs. The readers comments will prove that, won't they? Here's John from Sheffield:
"Marxism doesn't advocate marriage. Electing this unmarried father of illegitimate children as Prime Minister would be one more gigantic step for this country towards it's [sic] moral decline."Oh...