Wednesday, 10 March 2010

Adventures in woo

Dear reader, our blog has moved to a new address.

Do come on over (and change your bookmarks accordingly):

We've just taken delivery of our new issue, which should be on its way to subscribers as I write. As a little sample, we've published our commissioning editor Laurie Taylor's Endgame column, in which he recounts a traumatic trip to a health farm he took earlier this year. It was a holistic world of chakras, auras and life force energy, and like a true rationalist Laurie lasted just a couple of hours.

And in a woo double-bill, this seems like an appropriate place to reproduce this news story from the new issue:

One chakra short of a guru?

What with one thing and another it’s not always easy to find a good guru when you need one, so New Humanist was delighted to come across a copy of EnlightenNext, which describes itself as “The magazine for evolutionaries” and is available for a modest £4.95.

This is not, however, a magazine concerned with such small-scale evolutionary matters as the latest fossil finds. It is aimed at those who want to live at the “very leading edge of evolution” itself. People, that is, who are sufficiently advanced to be able to bring “a new spiritual and moral paradigm into the heart of 21st-century culture”.

And – well, you’ve guessed it – to become one of those leading edge people you’ll need paid help from experts. You might, for example, favour Ken Wilber, who offers “integral coaching” and asks, “Are you serious about unfolding in a whole new way?” Because if you are, then Ken asks, “Where do you want to grow?” and promises that he’ll help “build the muscles to get you there”.

If that sort of growing doesn’t sound fast enough to fit into your busy life then you might prefer the “accelerated growth” offered by Saniel Bonder and Linda Groves-Bonder. The Bonders tell us that “The HEART” is our “human-divine essence” and that they “transmit whole-being nutrition through many means to help you find HEART-strength in these turbulent times”.

But even the Bonders seem small beer compared to Doctor Don Beck, a “rare Integral Design Engineer” who leads the way “in defusing and refocusing the dangerously high energy in global hot spots”. Yes, wherever there’s dangerously high energy around, Doctor Beck is on call: “In Israel/Palestine, Russia, Mexico, Chile, Latin America, South Africa and South Chicago” he is “on the ground and in the thick of it”.

One last word of advice though. Before you decide to move to the leading edge of evolution it might be a good idea to check your mucoid layers. These, according to the Arise and Shine advertisement, are the “long dark rubbery ropes” which people expel towards the end of 40 days of fasting. There’s a helpful picture of some black ropey looking objects and even though we’re no expert on these matters, from the look of them they’re definitely better out than in. Not that we want to be too dogmatic. As Avona Carttier, who runs the mucoid cleansing business, reasonably says: “If these mucoid layers are left inside your body, that’s your business. If you want to get rid of them that’s our business.”