Friday, 21 August 2009

Atheists - looking after pets in a post-apocalyptic world

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Here's a very funny site sent to me by a Twitter follower - working on the premise that, when Jesus sweeps them away in the Rapture, Christians won't be able to take their pets with them, a group of atheists in the US have come up with a novel solution. Since they'll be left behind in the post-Rapture nightmare that will be Earth, members of Eternal Earth-Bound Pets will take care of Christians' pets for them – for a pre-Apocalyptic fee, of course. Here's some of the info from their site – "The next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World":
You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.
They claim they're serious - just look at their FAQs, not to mention the bit where they take Paypal payments. It costs $110 for one pet, plus an added $15 per additional pet requiring post-Rapture care. However, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets say they are "not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals."


[Via @woundedgenius on Twitter]


WoundedGenius said...

"must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals"

Didn't God save two of **everything**?


Jacob said...

It made me lol irl.

Doc said...

But animals go too!

Regarding animals in Heaven, the Devon Humanists' site has been discussing this difficult issue:

According to 'The Catholic Answers Forum':

"This side of eternity, we don't know why God created dinosaurs. All we can do is speculate. Catholic apologist Frank Sheed speculated that God's act of creation was at least partly for our benefit. In other words, God knew that we would like it. The same could hold true for dinosaurs: God knew that the discovery of such fantastical creatures would fascinate and delight us, and perhaps that was reason enough for their creation... Dinosaurs teach the possibility of life after death. There may be no dinosaurs currently inhabiting our world, but... they live on today - in our imaginations, in our scientific studies, in our hope that we may one day see such extraordinary creatures in the next life".

This then leads into a link asking "Do animals go to heaven?" Apparently, animals have a soul, but unlike humans, this soul ceases to exist when they die.

Nevertheless, as animals are part of the "visible universe... they too might share their glorification in the risen Jesus Christ... God might also re-create those animals who have been a pleasure and comfort to man in his earthly journey."

So Heaven is less a series of clouds, and more like Jurassic Park. This is why the Pearly Gates need to be kept locked at all times... and the reason why pictures of St Peter always make him look a bit like Richard Attenborough.

Agent Moselle said...

I love this... money for old rope, except you don't even need any old rope...


Anonymous said...

the survival of the fittest?um...

Dromedary Hump said...

Hello All,

I am the co-owner of the Eternal Earthbound Pets site. I'm glad you liked it.

Doc: there is no scriptural reference or evidence for animals going to heaven. Any opionons on the matter are left to the imagination of the believer.

One thing for sure...if Muslims, Hindus, Jews, atheists, et al don't get to go to heaven, then for Chritian doctrine, or any christian, to propose their pet squid gos to heaven would be even a more disgusting doctrine than the current one.

Now...go buy my book The Atheist Camel Chronicles. Its even more fun than the website, and is on amazons top 11 atheisyt themed books out of 70,000!!! My book's site sells autographed copies:

Yours in reason,
aka Dromedary Hump

Dromedary Hump said...

OOPs..sorry...My book site only ships to USA BUYERS.

International sales only through

Dromedary Hump

Hugh Caldwell said...

Reading an interview in The Times today, I see that one of the Dawkins dogs, Pemba, has gone, after a long illness. The evidence for her having a soul is as good as that for any other animal. Surely God wouldn't exclude an animal on the grounds that its master is an atheist? If you are ever in Heaven, you can look out for this very cute little white dog of the bichon family. It might be hard to pick out but you could try calling its name, Pemba Dawkins.

Hugh Caldwell said...

Wait a minute. I got the name wrong.

Quote from the Times article.

"Coton de Tulear. It’s a breed that comes from Madagascar.” There was another melancholy pause while he ruminated aloud: “Just the dearest little dog. She had been ill for quite a long time. Her name was Pamba"

Hugh Caldwell said...

Picture of Pamba (or the other coton de Tulear) in the basket of Dawkins' bike.

Hugh Caldwell said...

Hugh Caldwell said...

Third time lucky.

Joe Hayhurst said...

Doc: does this mean that the Catholics will be hunted down and eaten by T-Rex and his mates in heaven? Doesn't sound like such an idyllic afterlife to me!

Hugh Caldwell said...

Joe Hayhurst,
You haven't been reading your Bible. Dinosaurs were undoubtedly vegetarian. They were friendly creatures as you can see in the photo of PZ Myers at the Ham Creation Museum.

Joe Hayhurst said...

You're right, Hugh, it's been a while since I looked at the bible but I certainly don't remember any paleonological chapters, maybe I missed that bit so you may be right.

The 12" teeth on the tyrannosaurus presumably must have been for breaking into coconuts...

Hugh Caldwell said...


I'm sceptical about the friendliness of dinosaurs but Christian fundamentalists have no doubt.

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nomonkeybusiness said...

thanks for the oofer. I will look after your pets when we come back. Sadly, i hear you will be gone for a long long time.