Fiona Russell Powell's non-interview with bizarre cult pandrogyne industrial rocker Genesis P-Orridge in the current issue has sparked a new game in the New Humanist office – combine your favourite book of the Bible with your favourite breakfast food (must take the same hyphenated form as "P-Orridge") to create your very own meaningless cult moniker.So far ours are –
Deuteronomy S-Hredded Wheat
Leviticus C-Heerios
Over to you – the best one wins a pack of God Trumps.
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Galatians G-Olden Grahams
or maybe...
Song of Solomen S-Ugar Puffs
Sorry, should have been Solomon, not Solomens. Whoops.
While I'm here, how about:
Lamentations All B-Ran as well?
I'll shut up now.
Luke L-Ucky Charms?
Exodus F-Root Loops.
Habakkuk P-Optart
Ezra L-Uckycharms
Micah O-Atibix
Amos T-Oast
2 Thessalonians H-oneynutcornflakes
And on and on. Hours of fun!
Timothy T-Oast.
Obadiah W-Eetabix.
Nehemiah C-lusters
Colossians C-3POs
Malachi M-Ueslix
The Book of Job H-ard Boiled Egg with Salt?
Jesus Rancheros
I honour of the #Singh BCA trial, I suggest:
Judges R Eady Brek
Hmm, let's see.
Judges R-Icicles
One more for the last supper:
Acts O-Atmeal
Ecclesiastes B-Lackpudding
Okay, so I can't win, but I can't help taking part:
Ecclesiastes N-Esquik Cereal
Titus F-Ry Up
Ezekiel B-rian Flakes (Monty Python tribute intentional)
Christ B-Agel
or possibly
Leviticus L-Eftover Pizza
And one for the 'mericans in the house:
Rapture G-Rits
Feeling apocryphal?
Meqabyan W-Eetabix
Wisdom F-Rosties
Titus S-Pecial K
Tobit C-Hex
Judith F-ruit 'n' Fibre
Kings C-Ornflakes
Maccabees R-Icicles
And, for the longest ...
The Song of the Three Young Men with the Prayer of Azariah T-Eddy Grahams Breakfast Bears Graham Cereal
Ezra C-Old P-Izza
Titus T-Ennants
For the hardcore drunk.
Ezekial S-Hreddies
Samuel L-Emon French Toast With Poached Plums
Ezekiel S-Macks
Corinthians C-ontinental
Jehovah C-Igarette
Genesis O-Ats-so-Simple - a less annoying version of Genesis P-Orridge
On that same model, we have to have:
Genesis R-Eady Brek
Genesis S-Cotts Oats, and
Genesis Q-Uaker Oats
Apocrypha W-eetabix
Ecclesiastes B-Enedict
Jeremiah P-Ancakes?
This doesn't follow the pattern, but I can't resist:
Scrambled Exodus
Boiled Exodus
Exodus Benedict
etc
Revelation R-Ice Krispies?
Zebedee F-Rosties?
Collosians C-Ornflakes?
Exodus B-Acon, surely?
Oh man, I really should do some work this afternoon. But instead, I've built an Excel spreadsheet to randomly generate cult names in the Genesis P-Orridge stylee. Here are its first couple of dozen efforts:
Chronicles C-Ocoapuffs
Peter H-Oneycomb
Jude Q-Uakersquares
Chronicles F-Ruit&Fibre
Joshua T-Rix
Chronicles G-Rapenuts
Timothy M-Ultigraincheerios
Mark F-Rostedcheerios
Deuteronomy H-Oneynutclusters
Mark H-Oneynutcheerios
Philippians P-Roduct19
Matthew S-Hreddedwheat
Numbers L-Uckycharms
Joel G-Oldengrahams
Genesis T-Otal
Leviticus C-Rispix
Matthew C-Ocoakrispies
John C-Ornpops
Samuel M-Iniwheats
Malachi A-Pplejacks
Philippians W-Eetabix
Corinthians C-Ountchocula
Malachi F-Rootloops
I think Chronicles G-Rapenuts is probably my favourite.
Back to work...
1 Romans S-Oylentgreen
Curse this game!
Samuel S-Martstart
That is all.
Psalms P-Shreddies (silent Ps all round)
Brilliant work all, and effemm gets special mention for maximum work shirking. Now lets see if any real people can outdo your cult-moniker-auto-generator-bot. We're going to let this run for the weekend, and we'll announce our top ten favourites and a winner, chosen by our very own trivial-blog-comp-winner random generator, on Monday. Probably.
Yours
Matthew S-Ausagesandwich
editor
Titus T-Rix
(Trix - a brand of breakfast cereal made by General Mills for the North American and by Nestlé for the European, South American and Asian markets.)
1 Paralipomenon C-Uppatea. (Hooray for Wikipedia.)
Revelation A-Lpen
Am I allowed another...?
Chronicles C-Runchy Nut Cornflakes
Proverbs P-Optarts
Revelation R-ide-n-Rasher (for the jockey who's seen the light)
How about Tobit F-Ryup
Revelation L-Ox
Barnabas B-Agel (not canonical)
anti_supernaturalist
Corinthians G-Ranola
John G-Rapenuts III...
Isaiah C-Offee
Titus A-Sparagus
Numbers R-Usk
Esther H-Ash Brown
Obadiah F-Ood
slightly off-rule perhaps:
Lamentations I-Scream
Exodus C-Herios
Leviticus Marmite
Given the alleged effects of these fruits plus it references other "mystic" traditions how about
Exodus P-runes ?
Peter Bix
christ b-agel has to be a winner!, my own suggestion though, is..
Genesis P-op Tart
1 Letters to the Corinthians E-normous FryUp
Samuel L-Ucky Charms
"Do you ever read the bible Brett?"
-from his role in Orange-Pulp Philippians
Ruth B-Acon Eggs Sausages Beans & Toast
Let's wait and see..
___________________
Vince
Payday loans Today
Fiona Russell Powell's piece was not only mean-spirited but factually incorrect on many levels.
The Nursery was at Martello Street.
No fees were ever paid to 'join' TOPY - there were no members - it was a loose network.
Of course we knew the sigils were read! No assurance was EVER given that they would remain unopened. It was an exercise in trust.
Find one person who feels they were exploited or used by TOPY. Everyone I'm still in touch with from the era had nothing but positive experiences. Yes sometimes silly, yes sometimes seedy, and yes Gen sure does have some faults. And I suspect he did remember the author, as someone he hoped never to see again.
"Heart condition that could have been exacerbated by all the surgery" - now that's lower than anything GP-O for all his occasional pomposity and megalomania could ever come up with. Why is the New Humanist publishing tabloid journalism?
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