Friday, 24 July 2009

Competition time: what's your Bible/breakfast cult moniker?

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Fiona Russell Powell's non-interview with bizarre cult pandrogyne industrial rocker Genesis P-Orridge in the current issue has sparked a new game in the New Humanist office – combine your favourite book of the Bible with your favourite breakfast food (must take the same hyphenated form as "P-Orridge") to create your very own meaningless cult moniker.

So far ours are –

Deuteronomy S-Hredded Wheat

Leviticus C-Heerios

Over to you – the best one wins a pack of God Trumps.

Leave your comment on this blog post to have your entry counted.

61 comments:

Post Hamster said...

Galatians G-Olden Grahams

or maybe...

Song of Solomen S-Ugar Puffs

Post Hamster said...

Sorry, should have been Solomon, not Solomens. Whoops.

While I'm here, how about:

Lamentations All B-Ran as well?

I'll shut up now.

Carmenego said...

Luke L-Ucky Charms?

digressica said...

Exodus F-Root Loops.

Cubik's Rube said...

Habakkuk P-Optart
Ezra L-Uckycharms
Micah O-Atibix
Amos T-Oast
2 Thessalonians H-oneynutcornflakes
And on and on. Hours of fun!

Krypto said...

Timothy T-Oast.

Obadiah W-Eetabix.

Alenthony said...

Nehemiah C-lusters

Colossians C-3POs

Alenthony said...

Malachi M-Ueslix

John Gregson said...

The Book of Job H-ard Boiled Egg with Salt?

Jon said...

Jesus Rancheros

Crispian Jago said...

I honour of the #Singh BCA trial, I suggest:
Judges R Eady Brek

Stephen Bain said...

Hmm, let's see.

Judges R-Icicles

Stephen Bain said...

One more for the last supper:

Acts O-Atmeal

Chris Hughes said...

Ecclesiastes B-Lackpudding

Paul Sims said...

Okay, so I can't win, but I can't help taking part:

Ecclesiastes N-Esquik Cereal

Titus F-Ry Up

Doctor Why said...

Ezekiel B-rian Flakes (Monty Python tribute intentional)

Irregular Shed said...

Christ B-Agel

or possibly

Leviticus L-Eftover Pizza

And one for the 'mericans in the house:

Rapture G-Rits

Fuzzball said...

Feeling apocryphal?

Meqabyan W-Eetabix
Wisdom F-Rosties
Titus S-Pecial K
Tobit C-Hex
Judith F-ruit 'n' Fibre
Kings C-Ornflakes
Maccabees R-Icicles

And, for the longest ...

The Song of the Three Young Men with the Prayer of Azariah T-Eddy Grahams Breakfast Bears Graham Cereal

Fuzzball said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
James Hill said...

Ezra C-Old P-Izza

Jim1 said...

Titus T-Ennants

For the hardcore drunk.

Neal said...

Ezekial S-Hreddies

DavidMWW said...

Samuel L-Emon French Toast With Poached Plums

Paul Sims said...

Ezekiel S-Macks

Corinthians C-ontinental

Irregular Shed said...

Jehovah C-Igarette

Irregular Shed said...

Genesis O-Ats-so-Simple - a less annoying version of Genesis P-Orridge

Paul Sims said...

On that same model, we have to have:

Genesis R-Eady Brek

Genesis S-Cotts Oats, and

Genesis Q-Uaker Oats

John said...

Apocrypha W-eetabix

Wavsih said...

Ecclesiastes B-Enedict

effemm said...

Jeremiah P-Ancakes?

effemm said...

This doesn't follow the pattern, but I can't resist:

Scrambled Exodus
Boiled Exodus
Exodus Benedict
etc

effemm said...

Revelation R-Ice Krispies?

plumbum said...

Zebedee F-Rosties?

effemm said...

Collosians C-Ornflakes?

effemm said...

Exodus B-Acon, surely?

effemm said...

Oh man, I really should do some work this afternoon. But instead, I've built an Excel spreadsheet to randomly generate cult names in the Genesis P-Orridge stylee. Here are its first couple of dozen efforts:

Chronicles C-Ocoapuffs
Peter H-Oneycomb
Jude Q-Uakersquares
Chronicles F-Ruit&Fibre
Joshua T-Rix
Chronicles G-Rapenuts
Timothy M-Ultigraincheerios
Mark F-Rostedcheerios
Deuteronomy H-Oneynutclusters
Mark H-Oneynutcheerios
Philippians P-Roduct19
Matthew S-Hreddedwheat
Numbers L-Uckycharms
Joel G-Oldengrahams
Genesis T-Otal
Leviticus C-Rispix
Matthew C-Ocoakrispies
John C-Ornpops
Samuel M-Iniwheats
Malachi A-Pplejacks
Philippians W-Eetabix
Corinthians C-Ountchocula
Malachi F-Rootloops

I think Chronicles G-Rapenuts is probably my favourite.

Back to work...

Irregular Shed said...

1 Romans S-Oylentgreen

effemm said...

Curse this game!

Samuel S-Martstart

That is all.

Irregular Shed said...

Psalms P-Shreddies (silent Ps all round)

Caspar Melville said...

Brilliant work all, and effemm gets special mention for maximum work shirking. Now lets see if any real people can outdo your cult-moniker-auto-generator-bot. We're going to let this run for the weekend, and we'll announce our top ten favourites and a winner, chosen by our very own trivial-blog-comp-winner random generator, on Monday. Probably.

Yours

Matthew S-Ausagesandwich
editor

Gary Roberts said...

Titus T-Rix

(Trix - a brand of breakfast cereal made by General Mills for the North American and by Nestlé for the European, South American and Asian markets.)

Irregular Shed said...

1 Paralipomenon C-Uppatea. (Hooray for Wikipedia.)

Agent Moselle said...

Revelation A-Lpen

Agent Moselle said...

Am I allowed another...?

Chronicles C-Runchy Nut Cornflakes

Agent Moselle said...

Proverbs P-Optarts

Mr Quiz (Páraic Maguire) said...

Revelation R-ide-n-Rasher (for the jockey who's seen the light)

mike said...

How about Tobit F-Ryup

Anonymous said...

Revelation L-Ox
Barnabas B-Agel (not canonical)

anti_supernaturalist

Neil said...

Corinthians G-Ranola

dawno said...

John G-Rapenuts III...

George Jelliss said...

Isaiah C-Offee
Titus A-Sparagus
Numbers R-Usk
Esther H-Ash Brown
Obadiah F-Ood

slightly off-rule perhaps:

Lamentations I-Scream

la said...

Exodus C-Herios

SamLuok said...

Leviticus Marmite

Phil said...

Given the alleged effects of these fruits plus it references other "mystic" traditions how about

Exodus P-runes ?

jj said...

Peter Bix

Daniel J Diggle said...

christ b-agel has to be a winner!, my own suggestion though, is..
Genesis P-op Tart

Anonymous said...

1 Letters to the Corinthians E-normous FryUp

SgtSkepper said...

Samuel L-Ucky Charms

"Do you ever read the bible Brett?"
-from his role in Orange-Pulp Philippians

Agent Moselle said...

Ruth B-Acon Eggs Sausages Beans & Toast

Vince said...

Let's wait and see..
___________________
Vince
Payday loans Today

That article sucked said...

Fiona Russell Powell's piece was not only mean-spirited but factually incorrect on many levels.

The Nursery was at Martello Street.

No fees were ever paid to 'join' TOPY - there were no members - it was a loose network.

Of course we knew the sigils were read! No assurance was EVER given that they would remain unopened. It was an exercise in trust.

Find one person who feels they were exploited or used by TOPY. Everyone I'm still in touch with from the era had nothing but positive experiences. Yes sometimes silly, yes sometimes seedy, and yes Gen sure does have some faults. And I suspect he did remember the author, as someone he hoped never to see again.

"Heart condition that could have been exacerbated by all the surgery" - now that's lower than anything GP-O for all his occasional pomposity and megalomania could ever come up with. Why is the New Humanist publishing tabloid journalism?