First they need to get married. Then they need to throw away the condoms. But once couples in Poland (of the heterosexual variety, of course) have done that they can enjoy the secrets of great sex courtesy of . . . well, a celibate priest from a Franciscan monastery near Krakow.
Yes, that's right. In a front page story almost made for a New Humanist blogger to read on the train into work, today's Guardian tells the story of Father Ksawery Knotz and the publication of Seks, his "Catholic Kama Sutra", intended to inform couples that "Every act – a type of caress, a sexual position – with the goal of arousal is permitted and pleases God. During sexual intercourse, married couples can show their love in every way, can offer one another the most sought-after caresses. They can employ manual and oral stimulation."
Of course the obvious question is why would a celibate priest know anything about sex, and Father Knotz's is fantastic: "I talk with a lot of married couples and I listen to them, so these problems just kind of sit in my mind."
Yeah, we bet they do Father. Wonder if he's read Michael Bywater Aristolean analysis of internet porn from our latest issue?