Friday, 27 March 2009

Too busy to blaspheme?

Dear reader, our blog has moved to a new address.

Do come on over (and change your bookmarks accordingly): rationalist.org.uk

... Let us do it for you. Inspired by this story New Humanist have decided to offer a computerised blasphemy service. For just £3.99 a month (plus handling fee and insurance) we will programme our supercomputer to utter up to 3 godless curses a month on your behalf. Choose from our exclusive menu of oaths, curses, railings against religionists or call one of our heathen consultants to devise your own sacriligious swearwords about your favourite god, saint or religious organisation.

Just like our friends at Infomation Age Prayer we will be offering "state of the art text to speech synthesizers to voice each blaspheme at a volume and speed equivalent to typical person blaspheming. Each curse is voiced individually, with the name of the subscriber displayed on screen."

Caspar Melville, editor of New Humanist says, "this is a major step forward in computer-aided cursing, and really helps to bring sacrilege firmly into the 21st century. I urge everyone to sign up- it also makes a wonderful gift for Easter."

[thanks to Christina]

6 comments:

Chris Geiser said...

God is not happy with this post. You'll be considered least in the Kingdom of God if you bring more people into this sinful act of blaspheming. You can turn from this you know, you can stop all of this. Blasphemy is not good and God is very angered by it. You can either repent of it and put on the Savior and trust in Jesus' sacrifice or throw your soul into Hell. God loves you and does not want you to go to Hell. Justice will be done either way by sending you to Hell or by putting your faith in Christ's sacrifice.

T. X. Huxley said...

We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.

Having this service somehow implies a supernatural entity exists and is thus able to be offended.

Does this service include blaspheming the Flying Spaghetti Monster? This is important.

Raytheist said...

@T.X. Huxley: the post said they'd have consultants to help you formulate your own custom sacrilege, so I'm sure FSM will receive adequate coverage. :-)

@Chris ... uhhh... I was similarly zealous in my youth. I woke up and grew out of it.

kiwiatheist said...

@ Chris: You're having a laugh, right?
@ T.X: I don't think it's the gods we're looking to blaspheme here, it's the 'almost an atheist' type that we're aiming this at. I think the dillusioned followers of The Flying Spaghetti Monster are also included.

All-in-all a marvellous idea. Takes all the effort out of blasphemy. Mind you, it probably takes all the fun out of it too!

Joe Hayhurst said...

@Kiwiatheist: I don't think Chris is having laugh, unfortunately. Check his blog out if you want one though!

The only response is 'Jesus fucking Christ!' - one for the blasphemy machine!

kiwiatheist said...

@Joe: I did visit his blog and it's amazing what these god-botherers get up to. There are adverts there for hair regrowth, slimming 'miracles' and others. I left a comment, why don't you do so too ;-)

http://oneopportunity87.blogspot.com/2009/02/default-campaign-for-complete-guide.html#comments