Thursday, 20 November 2008

If you're going to quote chunks from something, it may as well be The Onion...

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I had to share some of this opinion piece I just read on The Onion:
I'm Not One Of Those 'Love Thy Neighbor' Christians
By Janet Cosgrove

Everybody has this image of "crazy Christians" based on what they hear in the media, but it's just not true. Most Christians are normal, decent folks. We don't all blindly follow a bunch of outdated biblical tenets or go all fanatical about every bit of dogma. What I'm trying to say is, don't let the actions of a vocal few color your perceptions about what the majority of us are like.

Like me. I may be a Christian, but it's not like I'm one of those wacko "love your neighbor as yourself " types.

God forbid!

I'm here to tell you there are lots of Christians who aren't anything like the preconceived notions you may have. We're not all into "turning the other cheek." We don't spend our days committing random acts of kindness for no credit. And although we believe that the moral precepts in the Book of Leviticus are the infallible word of God, it doesn't mean we're all obsessed with extremist notions like "righteousness" and "justice."

My faith in the Lord is about the pure, simple values: raising children right, saying grace at the table, strictly forbidding those who are Methodists or Presbyterians from receiving communion because their beliefs are heresies, and curing homosexuals. That's all. Just the core beliefs. You won't see me going on some frothy-mouthed tirade about being a comfort to the downtrodden...

Make sure you read the rest - it's very funny.

[Found via Friendly Atheist]

1 comments:

Luke D said...

The Onion never fails to deliver sharp, witty and spot-on satire. This is no different.

I particularly like their weekly Horoscopes:

Gemini May 21 - June 21
Look to the Bible for solace this week. Or to any other work of fiction that may help you to escape.

Scorpio October 24 - November 21
The strange men in lab coats will administer a series of electric shocks, painful injections, and radioactive treatments. They will then stop goofing around and get back to work.

Pisces February 19 - March 20
If there's one thing about you, it's that you're a genuine and caring person. If there are two things about you, however, it's that you're easily placated by insincere flattery.