Tuesday, 1 April 2008

Local council in shock challenge to Catholic dogma

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In an unprecedented victory for rationalism, Catholic priests in the north east of England will from today be required to read out a disclaimer prior to delivering the holy sacrament of Communion.

The Metropolitan Borough of Gateshead have issued the new regulations as a concession to secularists concerned by allegations that Creationism has been taught to students at Emmanuel City Technology College, a Gateshead academy school run by Peter Vardy’s Emmanuel Schools Foundation.

In passing byelaw 08/04 (section 01), the borough council has made it mandatory for Catholic priests to forewarn their congregations that transubstantiation – the idea that at communion the bread and wine become the literal body and blood of Christ – remains unsupported by solid empirical evidence.

Beginning with tonight’s evening masses, priests will be legally obliged to read out the disclaimer – the exact wording of which has been provided by the council – which reads as follows:

“Congregants should be aware of the gaps and/or problems in the Catholic theory of transubstantiation, including, but not limited to, the Protestant notion that the bread and wine are merely symbolic, the opinions of other religions on the life of Christ, and the lack of conclusive scientific evidence available to support this theory.”

Explaining the borough’s decision, Councilor Burt Blaydon (Con., Windynook), said: “The council feel it is important that borough residents realise that the Catholic version of Christianity is only a theory and not written in stone. This is not an attempt to cause offence, but equally we shouldn’t offend those members of the congregation who hold alternative views on the nature of bread and wine.”

9 comments:

Mas said...

How remorselessly childish. You have an enemy in your midst which you are just too scared to do anything to upset.

Instead you attack the Catholic communion - how gutless, how British, How European!

Fix the footpaths and clean up the rubbish !

Tony Mason, Australian

Anonymous said...

Umm...posted April 1. Think about it before you get worked up about it ;-)

Anonymous said...

"we shouldn’t offend those members of the congregation who hold alternative views on the nature of bread and wine.”

If it offends them then why are they members of the congregation? Why go to a church whose teachings you don't agree with? There is no triumph of logic in this.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Thats retarded.

Anonymous said...

This kind of stupid behavior is what makes me not want to be known along with these people. I am contemptuous of creationism, but I don't want to be known arguing on the side of idiots like these. Most creationists are Protestants, not Catholics, and what happened to separation of church and state. The geniuses who came up with this idea are just as bad as the creationists.

Anonymous said...

The English are so dumb. The Protestants and Atheists battle it out, and I grant some respect to thinkers like Dawkins, and loose alot for the creationists flawed thinking. But then the Atheists go off and do something moronic like this. "Why not go after the Catholics? I'm sure the Protestant Creationists wont mind letting us hit them, and we can say it's a victory against Creationism!"

Paul Sims said...

Dear outraged readers,

May I suggest that before expressing outrage, or for that matter believing something like this, you each check the date on which it was written, and look for the hidden clues within the story.

This way we can all avoid such unfortunate comments as "Wow. That's retarded", "the geniuses who came up with this idea are just as bad as the creationists", and "The English are so dumb".

Sarah Kent said...

"How remorselessly childish. You have an enemy in your midst which you are just too scared to do anything to upset.

Instead you attack the Catholic communion "...

The Australian had a bit of a point.. satire should be funny, and this isn't, and of course he's right that creatiobnists are Protestant, not Catholic.

nick lad said...

the catholic fathe was handed down to us from jesus at the last super all the other churches are man made if you are offended by what we do then why be a catholic it seams to me that there are no catholics on the council if ther was we wouldent be writing these comments
nicklad hull