Thursday, 2 August 2007

The great Christian almond pasteurisation crisis of 2007

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When you peruse the internet looking for random/ridiculous religion-related stories to report on a blog, you occasionally find exactly what you're looking for. This is one such example.

You see, the Almond Board of California (yes, them) have recently decreed that all almonds produced in California, destined for distribution throughout North America and Mexico, must be pasteurised in order to protect consumers from salmonella. Apparently this is a problem for Christian raw foodists (who only eat raw food, of course), as they see pasteurisation as a form of cooking.

Now, you may ask what being a Christian has to do with raw food. The answer lies is in the teachings of Jesus who said, among many other things, that it is bad for body and soul to eat cooked food: "…prepare not your foods with the fire of death, which kills your foods, your bodies and your souls also."

The ruling of the shadowy, Orwellian Almond Board of California would not be such a problem for raw foodists if they were able to procure said nuts from elsewhere. Unfortunately, "California happens to be the only U.S. state commercially growing almonds. In addition, California grows about 80% of the world’s almonds, according to the Almond Board of California website."

With their raw almond options severely limited, Christian raw foodists are claiming that their right to freedom of religion is being violated. That's right, the pasteurisation of Californian almonds has become a First Amendment issue. Campaigners have even set up a website aimed at reversing the ruling, brilliantly entitled What Would Jesus Pasteurise?

In the meantime the advice is clear: "stock up on your raw almonds… while they are still raw."


Laurence Boyce said...

". . . if they were able to procure said nuts from elsewhere."

Hang on, are you talking about the almonds or the Jesus freaks?